My Big Bead designs represent the absolute key to my mental health ... stay in the moment. And that's not all mystical, yoga-ese shit. It's really about not future-tripping. My spirituality goes flying out the window once I try to control the outcome of anything. I can feel the anxiety creeping up my spine into by mind and it's off to the races. STOP trying to clear the wreckage of your future. Recovery for me is battling the disease of perception. And it's all so grandiose. It's either going to be AWFUL or FANTASTIC and low and behold, my perception of future happenings creates all sorts of obstacles. I face-plant jumping over my own expectations leading me to feverishly attempt to clean up the mess I created by controlling everything and everyone around me. It's exhausting playing God (or higher power). And people revolt against you at the hands of your own ego, believe you me. In my own experience, it's best to keep my side of the street clean. Period. It's a daily choice. And I fail all the time.
Look at your feet. That's where your at. And at this moment, you're already ok. "I Don't try to control the outcome of anything... I just show up with my heart."- River Runner, Netflix
Thanks for being here, Jen
Big Bead: A concept worth wearing
